FOOTNOTE ACADEMY™
School of Applied Obviousness. Higher education in the obvious. Tuition: none. Accreditation: none.
Welcome to the Academy
Welcome to FOOTNOTE Academy. You are already enrolled. Orientation was completed on your behalf. Please locate the nearest yellow line and stand near it. Classes meet whenever you get to them. Attendance is not taken, which is how we know you are here.
Where were you the last time nobody took attendance‽
Earn your Certificate in Applied Obviousness
Fully online. At your own pace. Start any Sunday.
- Tuition
- $0.
- Application fee
- $0. There is no application. You are already enrolled.
- Pace
- One Module a week, or one Module a year. The strips will wait.
- Format
- Fully online. One strip, one story, three questions. Phone friendly. No login.
- Time to finish
- 4 Modules for a Certificate of Completion. 8 for an Advanced Certificate in Applied Obviousness.
- Accreditation
- None. Licensed by nobody. Recognized by the cat.
- Transfers
- Accepted nowhere. Offered everywhere.
FOOTNOTE Academy. Est. 1929 by Standard Provision. Accreditation: none.
About the Academy
FOOTNOTE Academy is the School of Applied Obviousness, founded 1929 and unaccredited ever since. Tuition: none. Faculty: a Registrar, a Chancellor and a cat. Each Module is one story and three questions. Completion is recorded. Understanding is optional.
What did your last orientation teach you‽
A Short History
Founded in 1929, a year chosen because it sounded settled. The Academy began as one chalkboard in the break room of Standard Provision Hot Dog Company, where somebody wrote the rule for the yellow line and nobody wrote down why. The chalkboard was promoted to a Department. The Department hired a Registrar, Hector, whose first act was to register the chalkboard. The Chancellor, B.E. Bailey, was appointed later, by the Chancellor.
A black cat named Footnote attended the founding, took no notes and still knows where everything is, so he was made Mascot. Accreditation was sought in 1931 and found to be unnecessary, then unavailable, then both. The Academy remains unaccredited by anyone and calls this independence. Enrollment is automatic. Graduation is optional. Nobody has ever asked to see the records, and they are kept accordingly.
Which of your rules has a founding year but no founder‽
Program 1: Applied Obviousness
Course 1: Introduction to the Obvious, Modules 1 to 4. Course 2: Applied Common Sense, Modules 5 to 8. Each Module is worth 1 hour of obviousness and 0 to 9 points.
Your transcript
After each issue, enter your Module score (0 to 9) here. Take Module 1 on its page and it fills in automatically. Your record stays in this browser. Copy the progress code to keep it.
Credentials
- Certificate of Completion
- Course 1: Introduction to the Obvious. Modules 1 to 4. Four hours of obviousness.
- Advanced Certificate in Applied Obviousness
- Modules 1 to 8, with Hector's Annual Academic Review. Eight hours of obviousness.
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Back to the strip
Back to FOOTNOTE 1: The Line on the Floor
Fine print
FOOTNOTE ACADEMY™ is a fictional satirical training program published by The Interrobang. It is not a school, college, university, accrediting body, certification body, or provider of academic or continuing-education credit. Its hours, ratings, certificates and titles have no academic, professional, licensing or employment value. No accounts. Nothing you enter leaves this page.
Still here? Subscribe to The Interrobang. Tuition remains none. Subscribing is not required for graduation, which is also not required.